Wednesday 17 December 2014

The Lonely Cottage by Lydia 5SH

Have you ever seen something that can't be explained? Or overheard something that shocked you? I don't mean people saying rude things on the street or seeing a magic trick.  I mean something that will change your life forever.  That's what happened to Beckie and me and we're still shocked by it now.  The memories of that terrible time haunt us still...

My name is Tara and I am 11 years old.  My sister Beckie and I would always go for walks and go exploring.  We loved it!  We loved finding hidden paths and things that we never knew were there.  On the day I want to tell you about, it was beautifully sunny.  Beckie and I were striding along as usual and I noticed a little path running between the trees.  Curious, I crept over to have a closer look.   "Come on," I called to Beckie.  "Let's explore!"  Beckie held back.  She was always shy. 
"No," she called anxiously.  "What if it's dangerous?"  Knowing what I know now, I wish I'd listened to her. 

Quickly, I dragged Beckie over to the gloomy pathway and started dashing along the tiny, bumpy path.  It had slimy weeds running all over it like living tripwires and the trees blocked out the sun.  The birds, which were pretty, bright colours, had been replaced with owls and crows.  A wolf's spine-tingling howl echoed in the distance. "I don't like this," whined Beckie.  "Let's go back."
"No!" I announced firmly.  "Let's carry on."

10 minutes later we were still walking.

At last, we reached somewhere.  We found an abandoned cottage in the woods.  Time had not been kind to the house.  It was covered in murky shadows and think, brambly weeds.  The trees around it, which were once lush and green had withered away and died.  Their long, spindly branches looked as if they were about to reach out and grab you.  Cracked and dirty, the windows had white cobwebs blowing around like old man's hair.  It have grown dark and there was a pale full moon in the sky.  Another wolf howled, its lonely cry sending shivers down my spine.  I gulped, remembering tales of werewolves I had heard recently.  Trembling nervously, I marched down the track.  Everything was deathly quiet.  A twig cracked. I screamed. Beckie yelped too.

Grasping the doorknob in my sticky hand, I yanked the door open and found myself in a small room.  Weird. I mean, who has their living room as soon as you walk in the door? It certainly wasn't a pretty sight.  No-one had entered it for years.  I stared around and I saw a dusty book on the mantle-piece - almost as dusty as the room itself.  It seemed to be drawing me in, pulling me closer. Walking towards it, I tried to stop myself but it was too late.  As if controlled by an unseen force, I slowly lifted the cover of the book.  Beckie screamed.  "What's up?" I snapped, jumping around.
"I saw a...a thing!" Beckie whimpered.
"So what?" I yelled. "Everyone sees things.  I'm a thing."  Beckie was close to tears but I ignored her.  Then I saw it. A ghostly shadow flitting around use.  I gripped Beckie's hand in mine and started running for the door.  It opened....and I found myself in another room.  

We never found the door.  Beckie and I are still walking. We don't know how long we've been here and we are tormented by the ghosts of the book.  We're still walking...

9 comments:

  1. This is the best work i have ever seen in my whole entire lifetime!!!!!!! finlay

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  2. Nice Vocabulary

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  3. Very good and very deatailed

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  4. Excellent piece of work! I wouldnt be expecting someone from year 5 to be writing something as high level as this! Great ending by the way! Very creepy!

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  5. It is very good

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  6. WOW!!! This is really good

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  7. I really enjoyed reading this story. I loved the way you described the plants like tripwires. well done. (Mr Garratt)

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  8. A compelling story - it made me want to read on to find out the ending (Mrs Smith)

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  9. I love your opening paragraph Lydia. The use of questions draws your readers in. We want to know more. Great job. Mrs Casey :)

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